Tuesday, May 31, 2011


There is so much out there waiting to be seen, felt, loved. 

I walk out of the headroom, to the terrace. I climb the iron ladder, to the roof top. This space is my favorite little corner. It's my personal space. I go there to think, or to simply clear my mind. To stand face to face, with a view.

This is where I slow down. This is where I learn to see. Standing against the breeze from a distant shore, thoughts mellow to realism. From a larger perspective, everything seems so small. I wait for the moment when this realization strikes, deep within me. And when the moment arrives, I let my mind take flight.

I stop thinking. I stop analysing, finding a reason. I stop judging...even trying. That is when I feel alive. When I let it all away; when I let life remain as is, simple. I remember dad telling me, " What we know is only little ".  When there is courage to believe that, a realization follows : No matter what, it isn't the end of the world.

Life teaches a lot. It gives the will to live free. To not be anchored forever. Because there is always a permanence of change. It is just a matter of time.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

In a Garden

There is a long queue. With their thin legs, black ants hustled ahead, like frenzied shoppers in a busy street. Beside these groups of foragers, I lived my moments of vivid enthrallment. With dirt between finger-nails, I dug palm deep, into wet ground. We both ( mother and I ) held our breath while I delicately transferred a plant from its pot.

I loved it. Carefully holding the naked plant, taking a moment to admire the passel of mud coated roots and handsome little dirty bulbs; in the end there is a sense of contentment to get as dirty as the ground. 

I recently surrendered to my liking for gardening. I realised how well it works, for the mind and general being. These are a few pictures I took this week. Of memories where both the plants and I learned to smile and grow.

" No two gardens are the same. No two days are the same in one garden. "

~Hugh Johnson

Friday, May 27, 2011

insignificant nights

it was a dissolution.
within the other.
politely interrupting the darkness.
while, eyes lay still, on print. letters blurring into shapeless words.
fading into the night.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tomato rice

I am a huge fan of rice varieties. And to satisfy my craving taste buds, I recently made a spicy tomato rice. Here's a simple South Indian recipe.

Tomato Rice - recipe


1 1/2 cups rice
5 or 6 tomatoes ( medium sized, finely chopped )
1 large onion ( finely chopped )
2 cloves garlic ( crushed )
2 green chillies
juice of 1 lemon
salt to taste
curry leaves
2 tbsp sesame oil
2 tbsp ghee
1 1/2 tsp chilli powder
1/2 tsp turmeric powder
2 cloves
2 1/2 tsp mustard seeds


Cook the rice and leave it to cool. In a wok, heat the sesame oil and ghee. Add cloves and mustard. After the mustard splits, add chillies, garlic and curry leaves. Saute for a minute then add the onion. Saute till transparent. Add tomatoes and the rest of the spices. Stir well and let it cook for 3 minutes. Add the cooked rice, juice of a lemon and mix well. Serve when hot.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Friday, May 20, 2011

times of a hut

to unbounded space blinked eyes
as kerosene lamp flickered
till the death of its light.

arteries of dirty lanes contained
high pitched howls of sauntering
mongrels, echoing like
a song, to the haunted souls.

in the midst of the howl and
the untamed wind, lives willed to
ground, to dusts of gravity till

sunlight claimed by half-hearted
wishes, pierced through thatch,
into their dreams.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


it's just a process
of how well we hold on.

and surprises, keep coming by.
like a bunch of gift-wrapped promises.

as long as we see..

as long as we learn..to hold on

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


..for a brief time, only. 

Monday, May 16, 2011


i have ineludible sights in front of me.

i walk long distances. against the breeze. towards the sea; the moving horizon. i pick up dirty mollusk shells. i leave a footprint. then another. most of them, the sea doesn't approve. yet, i live, we both live, with this continual disagreement. for as long as i walk.

is this a decision ? is this my choice ? is it yours ? what, fate? would you say so?

in the midst of this continuity, i sometimes stand still. there are wet grains beneath my stand. forgiving the mass, it delicately bears. i stand. i wait, till i feel your signs. till you almost take me. till i almost drown in life, inside of you.

so, at this shore i will be. for as long as you believe. for as long as you forgive. for as long as you remain. an ineludible sight in front of me.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

At the breakfast table

he pricked the core of dense
protein, racing against the
hallroom tick-tock.

a drip, a drop of orange
juice, fell softly upon
his hairy chest, as

he mouthed a glass full
enough to throttle. Ten to eight,
as any other day, the printed

politics, came in late. While mercury
tried to reach a peak, and a whiff of
solvent filled the kitchen sink,

thick fingers held the tabloid,
ends wrinkled in his grasp.
And thus, remained,

long after the chin touched
traces of sticky juice
on his chest

and the unconscious head,
wobbled like a hard
boiled egg.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Behind a door

i feel my fingers on the brown metal. pressing against the uneven edge. i have it safe. sealed, beneath tightly gripping fingers. a key. a choice. a reason. a life. i have seen the door. many times before. i lived with it. even in my sleep. i listenned to it, creaking in rainy days. and many times more, like the chorus of a song. i yearned to see. the other side.

not now...do not wait.

i faced, what seemed an infinite lifetime. my heart. my mind. travelling backward. backward? i walked ahead. feigning. i walked ahead. believing.

i see you change.

i felt my fingers on the rusted metal. pressing against the uneven edge. i have it safe. before my eyes. but i stand behind a door. never seen before.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Shadow me

like the stillness
after a stormy night, I
felt within, a timely

like a realization, in the
birth of light, I saw you;
I saw me in

like a truth, they speak of you;
of me and you, the void
between. And I, alone, hear;

like the permanence of
my soul, the stronger I resist;
I believe, you are meant to

like me, I see you, lost
in sight; when in the darkness
I feel your presence

Monday, May 9, 2011

love in the eye

Charlotte : " What color are my eyes? " 

 Kevin : " Well, at first glance your eyes are brown.
But when the light hits them, they change to amber.
And if you look really close around the iris,
the color is pure honey.
But when you look into the sun, they almost look green.
That's my favorite. "
       - Monster-in-law

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

if only..

like a clover. in a cloud of breeze. i pretend. to let it glide, in ease. now i see a distance. in between times, laid by tears. of an arcane mind. reaching out, hands collide. on to wistful tales.

if only..  

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Taking it to words

convincing to strive with the unreasonable. i struggle in the math. and i cannot leave. those few bare numbers that question my answers. yes, there is an obligation to reason. and either way i lose. when the question persists to exist. why? there are unsaid words of demand and rage. polished words, to cover an undefined depth. a depth, reflecting the exactness of a cold, heavy cast iron. rusted and permanent. to stay a lifetime.

rarely what i write is blurred. to me. rarely i am drowning in that unknown sea. blinded and wet.

i am reminded again. of the place within. still cold. still heavy. it isn't right. my reasons or answers. yet this is all i have.this is all that is.